Don't Forget to Breathe

Every year on this day, I stop for longer, I breath deeper, I look at the awh of life and marvel.... 
Our physical bodies are truly amazing.  Just minutes ago I came in from running with my four beautiful dogs, and now I have the ability to type and communicate with others in an instant.  More amazing....as a woman...babies can grow inside of me, not just one but two. 

This day is positioned perfected, right before Thanksgiving, prior to all the cooking, planning and making sure everything is done just right.  A day to reflect and remember my son, sweet Orion, and wonder.  I always wonder what it would have been like to raise twins?  What would Golden be like with a constant buddy?  Would they wrestle, play, tickle, fight with one another?  Would they worry about where the other one was?  Would they sleep in the same bed?  That would be a difficult accomplishment, I know what Golden is like.  Would I not have to sleep in their room?  Golden is afraid to sleep by himself, so after five years of fighting this, I've given in and I sleep in his room on my own bed.  Surprisingly he sleeps through the night now and doesn't wander.  Could it be that he misses Orion and doesn't even know it?  As his mother I'm a total sucker for him, for him not wanting to be alone, I get him...sometimes. 

He currently attends a music/art preschool, not because I want him to sing well, to learn his notes, or to be artistic, but because I want him to be brave, to trust others, and not fear being without a family member.  Each class he gets to pick out two toys for doing well, he always picks out two toys that match.  This last week it was two pelicans.  He has also picked out matching penguins, bears, and kittens.  This surprised me at first, now I look forward to it.  He takes an extra long time going through those toys to find the two that are the same.

Rivs and I went for a walk the other night.  It gets dark here around 5:30, so after dinner, I still want my kids to go outside and move their physical bodies.  Pete and Golden had gone somewhere so it was just me and the little man.  He always holds one of my fingers.  As we walked he pointed up and called out, "yook mama, moon."  Our walk continued.  Slowly the stars came out and he stopped in wonderment.  He stared.  So I said, "Stars, Riviees, stars."  I can't look at stars and not think of Orion.  I'm glad that the little man focused my attention on them.  What a sweet reminder.

Orion's Hand on His Puppy

So as you make preparation for the up coming holiday and wonder how you are going to survive such a long weekend with all of your kids home all day long, just breathe, smile, and be glad they are all here!