The FENSTER

I've been wanting to write about the arrival of our fourth son since his birth, but finding time for that has been tricky.  Fenn was born on his due date in May.  My water broke and nothing happened but losing more water, which made my kids laugh, they thought I kept peeing my pants.  Contractions came, but never amounted to much.  I felt like I was pretending to be in labor.  By the time I needed to put my other boys to bed it had pretty much stopped.  Being that the hour was late, and I was tired, I decided to go to bed, although I couldn't lay down.  So I made myself as comfortable as one can be in a chair and I fell asleep between each of my contractions, being about 15 minutes apart at this point. 

One slow hour later, the intensity had gone from a two all the way to 100.   I couldn't stand it and got in the birth tub and called my midwife.  As a childbirth educator I've often wondered if a fast birth would be the easiest...my conclusion, no.  It was just intense, there was no warm-up and easing myself into movements of birth.  I went from 15 minutes apart, to intense, to two pushes and he was here.  He, what a surprise, we had hoped for a girl and actually called him Meadow for months prior to his arrival.   There are 20 boys and four girls on my side of the family, we thought the odds were going to be in our favor, but odds are just that odds, always 50/50.

It was amazing to watch him look around with his big blue eyes and take in his new environment.  As a pregnant women, I know that the end result is that I get to hold a baby, what is it like for them?  Do they know they are within someone else and that they are going to come out?  Who knows, it must be such a huge surprise for them.

It was super exciting to invite my other boys in to meet their little brother, they were delighted and excited.  Although when he finally found his voice, there was question as to whether or not they wanted to keep him.  This spring we had a baby goat that was exceptionally loud after being born and they also wanted to send her back.

So here is my beautiful little man, that I get to spend my days and night with.  Birthing and becoming a mother once again is truly a gift. I'm so in love, but you should ask me that same question at 3:30 in the morning and see if I feel that same way.