FreeTime

My younger brother and his wife moved here as kind of a pit stop prior to his first assignment in the military.  He's an ambitious young man and with free time, that is not having to work, on his side he started coming up with projects.  I constantly come up with projects without having free time on my side.  Remodel the house, build gardens at the farm, learn how to tan animal hides, tan hides, build a sweatlodge, were just a few on his list.  Yesterday he left, some projects done, some started, some remained ideas.  

So this has got me thinking about free time and what it is that we desire to do with our time, and is it really free?  Then I realize that for me I get an idea, which is followed with enthusiasm, and then I find some of that time that is free and I start filling it up.  For example I write this blog, I  post pictures, I tell ever so briefly what is going on in our lives.  This starts out as fun, after all its my project, it's what earns a piece of my ever so valuable free time.  Slowly this enjoyable idea gone project becomes a chore, I enslave myself by agreeing to post at least one picture a week.  Days go by without a post and morally I feel obligated to those that cash in their free time to read my blog to find some free time to add an update.  I guess my free time switches names at this point and so does my enthusiasm.  

This stands true of gardening too.  It starts out as a pure joy.  Planting seeds watching them pop their heads up, watering them, I even weed with enthusiasm.  Then the day in and day out thing happens and slowly my enthusiasm to weed fades, and my thoughts change too.  Currently my enthusiasm to garden, to water, and weed are in the beginning phases.  I even get up early to dedicate myself to those plants, especially to weeding.  It feels like a wise use of my free time.  I'm cashing in time for the simple noises outside, for the cool morning temperatures, to be close to the earth, can you feel of my excitement?  I know that this enjoyment will die a slow death as my obligation to care for my little plants gone big will be surrounded by little weeds gone big, along with my cool mornings creeping earlier and earlier into the day.

Don't get me wrong I love writing this blog, I love gardening, even weeding, but I also love spending simple time with my boys, I love having the time and energy to prepare and eat good food.  I guess in writing this I'm reflecting on what in my life has just become a chore and how can I return it to project status?  or enjoyment?  What am I cashing my free time in on and is it what I want to be spending my time on?  What or who is the most important in my life?  So if you found the time to read this I hope that you sigh and look at what you are spending your free time on and is it the most important thing to you? To keep in the spirit of using my time to the best of my ability today, I'm choosing not to read over this again to make corrections, instead I'm going to go make a wonderful breakfast instead.  Hope it all makes at least a little sense.